Wednesday, April 23, 2008
My Mother passed away last night. She has had many health problems but I never thought she would go so suddenly. The Shivah begins today and I am going to pick relatives up from the airport, some are coming from Illinois and some from Israel. I miss my Mother so much. There was so many things I should have told her but can't cause she's gone. Growing up my Mother always said, "you have to take care of your little brother if anything happens to me." "He's you brother, he's family." My Dad has so many health problems as well. He won't be able to care for my brother. My brother will be living with me and the boys. I don't know if I can handle it but have to no matter what for my Mother. My brother is self injurious and profoundly Autistic. Having two kids with Autism and Big Brother will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am scared to death. My brother is a teenager and he's a strong guy but still like a 4 year old. He has a alot of help and I have to start gathering all his therapists names and try to work out having two take kids to therapies which scares me cause everything is overwhelming. How will I keep homeschooling K.C.? I am trying to to think ahead because already my brother knows things have changed and K.C. knows everything is different, K.C. has been hard to handle with so many changes, it is hard, I know he's feeling sad and confused just like all of us and so is my brother. Big Brother is scared to see his grandma one last time today, my Daddy hasn't left my mother since last night and will stay with her til she is buried today. Big Brother has picked out a beautiful rock to place on top of where she is buried. Please pray for us, we need strength, we need all of your thoughts and prayers. Please let your loved ones know how much you love them and how much you need them. My Mother and I didn't get along very well all the years and I just wish I could tell her I am sorry and I love her.